Restorative meeting - high expectations

Situation:

Student A leaves class 5 minutes early on Friday. He told me that he needs to go becuase he has to pick up his little brother from school. Never before has he needed to leave class to pick up his 'brother'. So I say to him "If you are telling the truth, then you may go."

Student leaves. I contact his tutor teacher and she says that she knows nothing of this, and recommends I give him a detention. I wait until the next lesson to catchup.

He misses the next lesson, and is avoiding eye contact with me in the corridors.

Restorative Meeting:

In class, Student A and I go into my office for a chat. I sit there quietly and just say to him 'explain'.

He tells me he lied on Friday, but did need to go early as he had to walk home and get his volleyball uniform becuase he did not bring it to school. If he did not have his uniform for the training immediately after school, he would not be allowed to train.

I ask him, why did he not just ask me to leave early, and explain the reason that he just said now? He said that he does not know.

I ask him where he was the previous lesson, he tells me he was at the doctors with his mum.

Then, I explain the consequences of his lying. I tell him that I cannot believe what he says now, so how can I believe him when he tells me he was with his mum the other lesson? I tell him that now, becuase I cannot believe him, I cannot trust that he will be sensible and mature on the class trip next week. I tell him that liars are not entitled to any of the perks of this class. I also tell him that when he joined this class, we were already 2 weeks in to the term. I tell him that since he has never done the subject before, it is alot of extra work for me to teach him what he needs to get the credits in this class. I tell him that if he lies, it makes me not want to bother teaching him becuase he has no respect for me or the subject.

He is very quiet and apologies. After that, I say to him that for him to regain my trust, he needs to come to a lunchtime detention today. He also needs to work extremely well over the next two weeks before the trip. I don't want to hear a peep out of him over the next two weeks in class. If this is maintained, he can come on the trip, but any mess up, he is not coming on the trip. I ask him if this is fair, and if he is keen to try, he agrees. Also, Student A turns up to the detention and works well, using wonderful manners.

Reflection:

- I think this was successful talk as the student seemed to react in a genuine way, and seemed remorseful

- He understood the consequences of a single lie that in effect turns into a trust issue

- He was sorry, and seemed eager to redeem himself

- I gave him the opportunity to redeem himself, which let him see that I was giving him another chance and had not given up on him.

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